Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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