$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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