seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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