Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
