??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
