Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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