that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
