now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
