Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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