Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
