K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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