Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
