you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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