well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
