Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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