Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
high people should be assigned attendants
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
