Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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