I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
