oh god the rape fog is back!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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