What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
