You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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