Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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