so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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