the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize