Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
