matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
In America we eat man semen.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
