I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
