No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
