Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
you never un-have a 4some
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
