my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
