Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
