I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
