God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we're making bets on your personal life
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
