I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
