I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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