Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
