My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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