well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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