I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sorry about my life...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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