Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
