Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
