Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You're a waste of cheezeits
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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