forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We don't watch enough power rangers
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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