im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
