I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
