on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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