you traded sex for a burrito?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
