Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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