so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
