I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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