there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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