Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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