the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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