Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
