My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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