i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
